[VIDEO/ACTION] Imperfect Wings Won't Get You Into S*ul S*ciety

[gin_san]

[ You’re flying!

Or more specifically, the video (also known as the journal) is flying! There is a spot of cloud, and there’s another slice of tree, and a whole lot of snow, and then with a rather unimpressive thump, the entire thing comes to a stop with a small puff of snow covering one corner of the screen, which appears to be sideways and hanging from a branch of a tree, under which two people stand -- a tall, silver haired man with silvery white wings, and a short, red-haired girl with bright red wings.

It appears that he was mid-shout when the journal opened, as he has a finger pointed up in the direction of the journal and is gesticulating furiously. ]

-- YOU WANT IT SO MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU GO UP THERE AND GET IT, HAH?!?!

[ Clearly, this is the main character of the show, because he’s 1.) shirtless, 2.) quite loud, and also 3.) has the Protagonist Image, being shirtless and buff and all. (And yes, of course he is the protagonist, because he is Gintoki, and that makes him the star of Gintama, and you are currently watching part of season 7, which has not yet begun to air on TV Tokyo because Gintama has been on hiatus. It is not in fact canceled, as you might believe.) ]

Gin-chaaaaan!

[ The girl huffs angrily, looking from the journal, to the “protagonist", gritting her teeth angrily. That journal was hers, and she knew it. Surely, an angel wouldn’t do something like this. An angel wouldn’t put her through the daily torment that Gintoki does. So she makes her decision in an instant.

He doesn’t deserve to be an angel.

She reaches out quickly, aiming to rip one of those stupid wings off of his back. She only manages a handful of feathers, but still, her point is probably made. ]

Fly up there and get it now aru, you bastard!

[ And of course, because this is Gintama, or more specifically, a Gintama roleplay, instead of just a small trickle of blood and a scream or something along those lines, there’s an explosion of blood and Gintoki goes pale and suddenly staggers as he clutches at his poor wing (is he actually serious? he’s not actually serious, is he, this is just for dramatic effect isn’t it) and actually collapses onto the ground.

He may or may not be slightly twitching.

It’s all very dramatic.]

Gin-chan?

[ For a moment, she nearly ignores him and trudges off through the snow without him. But that twitching… It’s a little disconcerting. She crouches next to him and pats his face roughly. ]

Oi, there’s parfaits over in that snow bank. I wasn’t going to tell you aru, but if you get up you can have one.

[ At first there’s no response, and then Gintoki slowly manages to move his head to look up at Kagura the way a man close to DEATH might. ]

I can’t do it. You ripped out my re*atsu when you ripped out my feathers. Without a full set of wings, I can’t enter S*ul S*ciety.

[ Her eyes widen at that. Is it true? Will he really get left behind while she ascends? ]

I’m sorry, Gin-chan! Please wait, I will carry you to the hospital aru!

[ BUT FIRST, she’ll step away, and crouch down to dig a little hole in the snow, where she buries those feathers. She doesn’t want any B*nkai wielding S*ul S*ciety sh*n*gam* after her.

And when they are sufficiently hidden, she won’t go to immediately pick him up. She instead hops up to knock that journal out of the tree. She tucks it down the front of her shirt, then she’ll hoist the man on to her back, and start running through the trees. She actually has no idea where she’s going, so she’ll probably circle back around at some point.]

((ooc: For characters that don't want to be Fourth Walled at all, anything that's fourth-wally your character will hear as complete bleeps. Opt-in characters can decide whether they hear partial bleeps or no bleeps at all. To opt in/out, click here))

Comments

[niceguypose]

I thought that it was simply a coincidental meeting of youth! Have... none of us being using filters?!

[hero_of_smiles]

I've been watching this WHOLE time. So, yes. None of you have.

[niceguypose]

Ah... But we have discussed private matters! Please do not share them elsewhere!

[hero_of_smiles]

I never planned to but I'm not sure it's going to do much good. You've all done the sharing already.

[Translation: You're all screwed.]

[niceguypose]

ONE THOUSAND LAPS AROUND THE VILLAGE! THAT WILL BE MY ATONEMENT!

[That's all he can think of; and in fact at that point he tosses his journal at the wall in frustration and runs off.

It's been an exceptionally unusual day.]

THIS MESSAGE IS DIRECTED AT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS ENTIRE THREAD

[gin_san]

[ And suddenly, out of nowhere, Gintoki just starts laughing his almighty laugh because you see, folks, Gin-san, the magnificent, illustrious, dashing main character of the fourth-wall breaking canon known as Gintama has figured it out.

HE HAS FIGURED OUT WHERE THEY REALLY, TRULY ARE.

THE TRUTH OF THIS PLACE THAT IS NOT S*UL S*CIETY. ]

Oi, I figured it out, Kagura, where we are, and why Naruto-kun was once married to the China Girl character and even had a kid that's from that American an*me.

[ With a withering sigh, Gintoki sits back wherever he's sitting (a couch, probably, we'll just say a couch, because we have no clue where in the timeline he actually is, thanks guys), and sticks a finger into his ear to pick at his ear wax. ]

We're in a doujinshi, or one of those dirty fan fictions where I'm supposed to do dirty things to Oogushi-kun.

[ And then of course, because we're dealing with Gintama characters, guys, somehow a magical flashback happens of Gintoki holding up this particular DVD cover:

]

I guess this one's particularly nasty since it's got all the different canons in it, huh.

[chinagirl]

Gin-chan, then why am I here? I have not seen that dirty "S" bastard here, or any of the tax thieves aru. So I think I am safe. Ah, maybe I am here only for a funny moment where you kick me out of the room before you and Hiji take your shirts off and play mayo games aru.

[ A solemn nod... That must be it. Goodbye Gin-chan... Shueisha will never take you back after this. ]

[gin_san]

[ Of course the thing that always happens when Kagura says some dumb shit occurs: Gintoki smacks her hard, across the back of the head. ]

Don't be so naive, kusogaki. You're a virginal China Girl. Do you have any idea how disgusting those perverted fans can be? The kind of stories they can come up for you? Maybe they'll marry you to Naruto-kun as his third wife, and your kid will be Zh*ge L*ang from R*mance of the Thr*e K*ngd*ms.

[chinagirl]

UNFORGIVABLE!

[ Does she somehow look a little more manly all of a sudden? No, it's just a trick of the light! Sure. ]

I could never do such an unforgivable thing like give birth to that bastard aru!! Not even in a doujin where you would dress the mayo as a cow.

[gin_san]

[ Gintoki sticks a finger up his nose and comes out with a particularly gross booger which he proceeds to wipe on Kagura's shirt as he pushes her a bit away from him, since she got all in his face just now, and with that sudden manly face, nothx. ]

Yeah, tell that to the perverted fan that's probably making us say these things right now. I bet they're coming up with something real nasty for you. I bet you'll have to suffer the shame of being Naruto-kun's third wife while hiding away in a dungeon, away from your bastard son who wants to defeat C*o C*o's army for greedy reasons instead of fighting to unite the nation.

[ Okay, so the story doesnt go like that, but who cares. ]

[breezing]

[ ................?

She has no idea what some of that stuff means. :|a ]

Ummmmm, do you mean like play in the mud? I don't think there is any right now because of winter...doesn't it freeze over?

I don't see what that has to do with anything...what's a "doughshinshishi"?

[ she tried. ]

[gin_san]

It's a thing little kids like yourself don't need to know anything about.

[ A VERY DIRTY DIRTY THING. ]

[breezing]

No fair!! But the thing with us being a family was an experiment - well, no, it was an invasion, but it was kind of like an experiment.

You guys are weird.

[ What is tact. ]

[gin_san]

[ Yeah, Gintoki doesn't give a shit. You may be a brat, but you have nothing on the kid he raised. Ahem. ]

Yeah, and you're all stupid enough to not realize who's really behind it. Clearly, it's some sort of crazy fan that wanted to write a lot of crazy scenarios.

[believeit]

We're in a what?

[Thanks to the magical flashback and THAT COVER he's just left staring at the journal with a dumbstruck impression.

????]

SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ONNNN! ['TTEBAYOOOOOO]

[gin_san]

Oh come on, Naruto-kun, you don't have to pretend like you don't know about doujinshis. It's a big part of the N*ruto franchise, after all. Manga, anime, movies, video games, doujinshi...

[ Oh right, he forgot to get back to you on that other thread, didn't he. ]

[believeit]

I don't have a manga about me, or any of that other weird stuff you're sayin'!

[gin_san]

[ A BIG SIGH. ]

For the fifth time, [ actually, he's never said this yet but who's counting ] I'm telling you that you don't gotta pretend like you're not famous! A real star! Yeah, yeah, I know you're trying to be modest or whatever, but you don't really gotta keep up the act when I know you've got a manga and an anime and a bunch of video games and... For the last time, we're both in JUMP and our animes air on TV Tokyo!!! I'm not just a fan, Naruto-kun! You can think of me as a coworker.

[chinagirl]

[ BUTTS IN, after Gintoki's creepy sucking up speech. ]

Hey Tra-- I mean, hey ninja aru. Where are you? I gotta tell you something Sakura said, but it's kind of private...

[bunsofsteel]

[She's done. She should be done having her reputation thoroughly smothered in mud and dragged out for the entire village to see. Except for one thing. If they're talking about who Naruto's married, that means her (unfortunately). And there's still one overriding question --]

What is a Chainagirl?!

[chinagirl]

Heh, like you do not know! Were you born with your hair in that style aru? Huh?! Or did you see it somewhere? Next you'll be asking where to find ball cups for it! I won't tell you!

[bunsofsteel]

[What's with that accent? Some kind of foreigner.]

I dunno, I just like it! It keeps my hair out of the way when I'm fighting, what difference does it make?

woops put it in the wrong place

[hero_of_smiles]

It's official.
Everyone's lost it.

lmfao its cool

[gin_san]

Oi, it ain't my problem if you can't accept reality.

[hero_of_smiles]

What'd ya mean "accept reality"? It just sounds like you're BOTH insane and making everyone upset!