gin_san: (thought you could outsmart me?)
Sakata Gintoki ([personal profile] gin_san) wrote2014-01-25 05:27 pm

[VIDEO/ACTION] Fourth Walls Are Only Fun When You Get to Break Them Down

VIDEO

[ A caption, at the very top of the screen: When watching Gintama, keep the room lit and sit away from the screen yoooooooooooooo.

The camera zooms out and focuses on this particular cover of Weekly Shounen JUMP, which is being held by a manly hand. It is not clear who the owner of that hand is until the journal is turned and set down, to reveal that its owner in fact possesses the same face as the man on the cover(s).

Gintoki looks a quite smug, with some sort of strange grin on his face.
]

Ha! I knew I’d find it!

[ He holds up the copy of JUMP, right next to his head, and then slowly the smile that had been on his face turns into a flat line as he pauses for a moment to clear his throat.]

Oi, you JUMP bastards. [ He points at the screen. ] You better not continue pretending that Gin-san isn’t an important character! See? [ Waves the cover around. ] I’m on the front cover! The front cover, oi! You know who goes on the front cover of JUMP? THE MAIN CHARACTER!

[ Nevermind the fact that Zoro and Reborn and other side characters are on the cover, too. They’re not as important, clearly, because Gintoki’s face gets to be on the cover THREE TIMES. He makes sure to point his finger at the tiny Naruto. ]

See!?!? SEE?! I’m not makin’ this shit up. It’s time you guys stop treating us like a second-class manga and show some respect!

[ Until an admonishing “tsk" comes from off to the side. Kagura leans in, squeezing herself into the line of the camera, holding her own copy of Jump. ]

Gin-chan, no one cares anymore who is on the cover aru. What is important is the action or feeling in the manga itself. You have captured the essence of a main character here aru.

[ At which point, she’ll shove this page in front of the camera, trying to hide a smirk. ]

OI!

[ KAGURAAA YOU STINKIN’ BRAAAAAAAAT. Gin-san isn’t gonna let you live this down! Almost immediately a hand comes out and snatches the entire book out of the camera’s reach, knocking the video off in the process when a sword in the ass slams into the journal, and everything goes dark. ]

ACTION

[ It comes as no small surprise that when a sudden mass influx of people begin arriving in Luceti, Yorozuya Gin-chan is prepared. They have prepared a booth in the middle of town square, right next to the fountain, with a couple of tables and a big banner above that reads:

THE MONSTER GIRL
THE GREAT GURA
THE MONSTER GIRL
THE GREAT GURA
SHE’S REALLY A MONSTER
SERIOUSLY AMAZINGLY GREAT GURA MAIN CHARACTER WITH NO ASS SWORD
WHO FLUSHES EGG BANDAGES DOWN THE TOILET & GETS IT CLOGGED
WHO CHANGES GIN-CHAN’S SHEETS AFTER HE WETS THE BED WHEN DRINKING SAKE
OI IT’S YOUR STUPID DOG, DON’T BLAME ME
MAKE NABE FOR DINNER GIN-CHAN
OK FINE, BUT YOU’RE GETTIN THE INGREDIENTS, KUSOGAKI
THE GREAT MONSTER GURA


Another sign reads: BATTLE THE GREAT MONSTER GURA AND WIN A PRIZE

On the table next to the one Kagura is sitting behind is an array of different prizes, all lovingly labeled:

1 Magical Egg - Will Give You Wings! (Another Pair) Also Bankai
1 Magical Pudding - Cures Future Hemorrhoids & Bestows the Power of Rasengan
1 Magical Alien Shoe - Grants the Power of Super Saiyan & Another Bankai
12 Random Shounen JUMP Issues - Grants the Power of the Future if You Are From An Earlier Timepoint
1 Set of Gintama DVDS, All 6 Seasons, With Covers Lovingly Hand-Drawn By the Main Characters (There is a Poop-Shaped Drawing With Stink Lines on the Front)
1 Cursed Video Tape - Curses Your Enemy for All Eternity. Or Seven Days.


Gintoki struts about in front of the table, wearing a circus ringleader’s costume, complete with a top hat, waving a magician’s baton, because clearly that’s the way things should be. ]

Come one, come all! Challenge the Great Monster Gura and win a prize!! Place your bets now, ladies and gents!

[ He’s trying his best to sound like one of those announcer-types.

Your character has the option of entering the following competitions: arm wrestling; food eating; high striker; or kick the can.
]
keepcalmandbomb: (leader // serious business)

[video]

[personal profile] keepcalmandbomb 2014-01-25 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ RING RING RING. Guess who's perfectly serious about this whole fiasco (but only paying attention to Kagura's part, apparently). ]

Ah, that arc was rather worrisome. Did everything heal up alright? It would have been quite an un-beautiful death.
chinagirl: (pic#1166758)

[video]

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She shakes her head, not even batting an eye at Zura suddenly being on the journal-phone ]

Nope. Gin-chan still cries like a disappointed mother from the toilet sometimes aru.
enchantressofore: Thanks to Tarot for the B/W bases! (Who in the world can tolerate you?)

[Video]

[personal profile] enchantressofore 2014-01-25 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[There is something she's concerned about far more than the jump cover rubbish they're talking about.]

Was that a sword in your...

[She doesn't even want to say it. It's just too awful for her to imagine. Why would someone do that to a sword (and why was the sword talking for that matter but details).]

...
keepcalmandbomb: (ding dong // calm)

[video]

[personal profile] keepcalmandbomb 2014-01-25 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps he's siphoning off his inner demons, Leader. A man can not hold too much inside himself, after all. It is a pain-staking process that often ends in clogged pipes, but it must be done.

[ oh hello Gintoki ]
believeit: <user name=dobe_teme site=livejournal.com> (listening)

video;

[personal profile] believeit 2014-01-25 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[HEY. He recognised that person you just pointed at on the cover.

He didn't really listen to what else was said because HEY THAT'S HIM.]


Why am I on your manga cover??
2percentgarbage: (unimpressed glasses)

[action] placeholder, I MAKE NO PROMISES

[personal profile] 2percentgarbage 2014-01-25 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oi, mun-san. What the hell is this. You've barely uploaded two icons for me and only rewatched three episodes of the anime just yesterday and you expect to be able to play me properly?!?!?!

"What's the big deal? You're just a pair of glasses anyway. It can't be that hard."

I'M WAY MORE THAN THAT!!!!

"Oh, sorry, you're right. You're a pair of tsukkomi glasses. No big deal."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO BIG DEAL?!?! And what the hell is up with that username?! If you were gonna reference that couldn't you have referenced a different part of it? I'd rather be glasses than garbage, you know!!!

"It's like I said. You're just a pair of glasses."

Shinpachi wept.]


***

[One jump cut later, he's staring in resigned disbelief (if such an emotion exists, it exists in the heart of this young boy) at the booth in the middle of this weird town he's suddenly in. Staring at Gintoki. Staring at Kagura. Staring at the so-called prizes.

Give the mun him a moment to collect himself. Knowing that Gintoki and Kagura have been causing trouble without him is always traumatic on some level.]
enchantressofore: Thanks to Tarot for the B/W bases! (Who in the world can tolerate you?)

[Video]

[personal profile] enchantressofore 2014-01-25 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
You... You are right, it is not.

[Is she quivering a bit? Of course she is, the thought that it would be stuck somewhere so... So... It's just sickening! Even in the middle of combat who would do that!?]
chinagirl: (pic#6056280)

[Video]

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Gin-chan, you should hang up. This weirdo looks like she likes that stuff aru. You might wake up with two katana in there.
chinagirl: (pic#6038810)

[video]

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Gin-chan must find a new way in that case aru. He has so much to hold in, and if goes to the toilet that long, we will have to reuse the movie plot again.
chinagirl: (pic#1166758)

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Kagura looks up from picking her nose. She stares straight into Shinpachi's eyes. Nothing at all in her expression changes. She motions to the journal, which is wearing a pair of cheap reading glasses and resting on the table next to her. ]

If you are going to challenge me, give your money to Journalpachi aru. Otherwise, you are in the way, boy.
enchantressofore: Thanks to Tarot for the B/W bases! (That is not how it works!!)

[Video]

[personal profile] enchantressofore 2014-01-25 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I would do no such thing.

[And there it is. One can almost hear the SNAP of Adela's temper as she draws a sword of her own.]

Who in their mind would DO such a thing to such a beautiful sword! 'tis a crime against the maker and the ore used in it! I will find the person responsible and slice them to ribbons if I must, then use their remains as chumming for the sharks!
keepcalmandbomb: (blank // empathy)

[personal profile] keepcalmandbomb 2014-01-25 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh? Did you not like the movie?

[ HE HAD SCREENTIME... ]

[ -- woah, Paako, chill your imaginary tits ]


It's not Zura, it's Katsura... Huh. What a violent reaction. It still aches, does it not? Understandable. Have you at least gone to the hospital? They may not have a code phrase for "a sword shaped Amanto stuck up a man's anal opening" but there are times when your well-being must be placed above your dignity, Gintoki.

Edited 2014-01-25 23:05 (UTC)
enchantressofore: Thanks to Tarot for the B/W bases! (I am not certain that I understand.)

[personal profile] enchantressofore 2014-01-25 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[Congratulations Gintoki, you managed to bring momentary pause to her ranting. She stops, blinking curiously at him and sitting up straighter.]

What do you mean?

['Get off'? Was this more slang that she had not heard before?]
enchantressofore: Thanks to Tarot for the B/W bases! (What are you blathering about?)

[personal profile] enchantressofore 2014-01-25 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
... Flesh swords?

[Yeah he's completely losing her. She doesn't understand at all. Blasting off? Earthlings? Just what in the world is he talking about?]
chinagirl: (pic#6039901)

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Kagura crosses her arms, looking as if she's suddenly an expert. ]

You know, the things guys always want to do before you can get 'em to the alter and lock them down aru.
chinagirl: (pic#6767259)

[personal profile] chinagirl 2014-01-25 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought the movie was perfect aru. But if Gin-chan's asshole becomes part of the plot too many times, I think it will not do well for the ratings. Maybe it will help Kagutama progress, but I would like to start off in a better light aru.

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