[VIDEO/ACTION] Fourth Walls Are Only Fun When You Get to Break Them Down

[gin_san]

VIDEO

[ A caption, at the very top of the screen: When watching Gintama, keep the room lit and sit away from the screen yoooooooooooooo.

The camera zooms out and focuses on this particular cover of Weekly Shounen JUMP, which is being held by a manly hand. It is not clear who the owner of that hand is until the journal is turned and set down, to reveal that its owner in fact possesses the same face as the man on the cover(s).

Gintoki looks a quite smug, with some sort of strange grin on his face. ]

Ha! I knew I’d find it!

[ He holds up the copy of JUMP, right next to his head, and then slowly the smile that had been on his face turns into a flat line as he pauses for a moment to clear his throat.]

Oi, you JUMP bastards. [ He points at the screen. ] You better not continue pretending that Gin-san isn’t an important character! See? [ Waves the cover around. ] I’m on the front cover! The front cover, oi! You know who goes on the front cover of JUMP? THE MAIN CHARACTER!

[ Nevermind the fact that Zoro and Reborn and other side characters are on the cover, too. They’re not as important, clearly, because Gintoki’s face gets to be on the cover THREE TIMES. He makes sure to point his finger at the tiny Naruto. ]

See!?!? SEE?! I’m not makin’ this shit up. It’s time you guys stop treating us like a second-class manga and show some respect!

[ Until an admonishing “tsk" comes from off to the side. Kagura leans in, squeezing herself into the line of the camera, holding her own copy of Jump. ]

Gin-chan, no one cares anymore who is on the cover aru. What is important is the action or feeling in the manga itself. You have captured the essence of a main character here aru.

[ At which point, she’ll shove this page in front of the camera, trying to hide a smirk. ]

OI!

[ KAGURAAA YOU STINKIN’ BRAAAAAAAAT. Gin-san isn’t gonna let you live this down! Almost immediately a hand comes out and snatches the entire book out of the camera’s reach, knocking the video off in the process when a sword in the ass slams into the journal, and everything goes dark. ]

ACTION

[ It comes as no small surprise that when a sudden mass influx of people begin arriving in Luceti, Yorozuya Gin-chan is prepared. They have prepared a booth in the middle of town square, right next to the fountain, with a couple of tables and a big banner above that reads:

THE MONSTER GIRL THE GREAT GURA THE MONSTER GIRL THE GREAT GURA SHE’S REALLY A MONSTER SERIOUSLY AMAZINGLY GREAT GURA MAIN CHARACTER WITH NO ASS SWORD WHO FLUSHES EGG BANDAGES DOWN THE TOILET & GETS IT CLOGGED WHO CHANGES GIN-CHAN’S SHEETS AFTER HE WETS THE BED WHEN DRINKING SAKE OI IT’S YOUR STUPID DOG, DON’T BLAME ME MAKE NABE FOR DINNER GIN-CHAN OK FINE, BUT YOU’RE GETTIN THE INGREDIENTS, KUSOGAKI THE GREAT MONSTER GURA

Another sign reads: BATTLE THE GREAT MONSTER GURA AND WIN A PRIZE

On the table next to the one Kagura is sitting behind is an array of different prizes, all lovingly labeled:

1 Magical Egg - Will Give You Wings! (Another Pair) Also Bankai
1 Magical Pudding - Cures Future Hemorrhoids & Bestows the Power of Rasengan
1 Magical Alien Shoe - Grants the Power of Super Saiyan & Another Bankai
12 Random Shounen JUMP Issues - Grants the Power of the Future if You Are From An Earlier Timepoint
1 Set of Gintama DVDS, All 6 Seasons, With Covers Lovingly Hand-Drawn By the Main Characters (There is a Poop-Shaped Drawing With Stink Lines on the Front)
1 Cursed Video Tape - Curses Your Enemy for All Eternity. Or Seven Days.

Gintoki struts about in front of the table, wearing a circus ringleader’s costume, complete with a top hat, waving a magician’s baton, because clearly that’s the way things should be. ]

Come one, come all! Challenge the Great Monster Gura and win a prize!! Place your bets now, ladies and gents!

[ He’s trying his best to sound like one of those announcer-types.

Your character has the option of entering the following competitions: arm wrestling; food eating; high striker; or kick the can. ]

Comments

[video]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ RING RING RING. Guess who's perfectly serious about this whole fiasco (but only paying attention to Kagura's part, apparently). ]

Ah, that arc was rather worrisome. Did everything heal up alright? It would have been quite an un-beautiful death.

[Video]

[enchantressofore]

[There is something she's concerned about far more than the jump cover rubbish they're talking about.]

Was that a sword in your...

[She doesn't even want to say it. It's just too awful for her to imagine. Why would someone do that to a sword (and why was the sword talking for that matter but details).]

...

video;

[believeit]

[HEY. He recognised that person you just pointed at on the cover.

He didn't really listen to what else was said because HEY THAT'S HIM.]

Why am I on your manga cover??

[action] placeholder, I MAKE NO PROMISES

[2percentgarbage]

[Oi, mun-san. What the hell is this. You've barely uploaded two icons for me and only rewatched three episodes of the anime just yesterday and you expect to be able to play me properly?!?!?!

"What's the big deal? You're just a pair of glasses anyway. It can't be that hard."

I'M WAY MORE THAN THAT!!!!

"Oh, sorry, you're right. You're a pair of tsukkomi glasses. No big deal."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO BIG DEAL?!?! And what the hell is up with that username?! If you were gonna reference that couldn't you have referenced a different part of it? I'd rather be glasses than garbage, you know!!!

"It's like I said. You're just a pair of glasses."

Shinpachi wept.]

***

[One jump cut later, he's staring in resigned disbelief (if such an emotion exists, it exists in the heart of this young boy) at the booth in the middle of this weird town he's suddenly in. Staring at Gintoki. Staring at Kagura. Staring at the so-called prizes.

Give the mun him a moment to collect himself. Knowing that Gintoki and Kagura have been causing trouble without him is always traumatic on some level.]

[ Video ]

[firstgoldson]

[ Now, normally, Aurican would ignore nonsense. As a very old dragon, he doesn't bother his time with nonsense. Leave that to the younger generations who have the curiosity and patience for nonsensical things.

While bizarre it might be that Aurican is stuck in a world that Aurican had never seen before, the contents of this journal are stranger. If it is a realm of the gods, it is a tragically mundane sort of a realm, if not queer. Learning of the journals he quickly adapts to their odd mechanisms and tricks, in both his elfish form and his dragon form. Normally he would resume his elfish form like he usually does, but in a strange world with stranger people, Aurican feels more at ease in his true form. He is far more vulnerable in a body of a lesser being that he does a dragon.

Point is: Aurican ignores nonsense, unless he sees the word magic. Then his attention is trained onto the man and the other individuals like a hawk: tense and uncompromising. ]

What kind of magic are you offering in your contest?

[Action]

[misterbrief]

[He's walking past the ridiculous set up that Gintoki's got here, but he reads the sign at the very least.

1 Magical Alien Show - Grants the Power of Super Saiyan

and he just stops there and stares at it. The hell. Turning, he addresses the silver-haired idiot to start.]

What do you think you're doing, advertising that a shoe is going to give anyone the power of a Super Saiyan? Are you out of your mind?

action

[pachintoki]

[You thought, maybe, that you had a magical pudding.

But you don't anymore, Yorozuya. He was hungry after wandering around this strange place for awhile, and he'll quietly snatch the first food he sees when the weird magician's back is turned, before reading the sign.]

. . .hmm?

[wait wait wait wait]

[Video]

[sealanddesuyo]

[Oh, it's that mean and weird silver-haired guy from before. And he is still confused about exactly what this guy is talking about. But even he has to laugh at the manga page.

And he does. Long and loudly.]

So you're this "important main character" but you got a talking blood sucking sword stuck in your butt? [He's ignoring the fact that swords can't talk at the moment.] I guess you're not that important then.